night

Once I am asleep, sleeping is easy. It's the falling that's hard. My mind races all the time and I can't seem to get it to slow down enough to dose off. Every little sound grabs my attention. After I've "gone to bed," I get up two or three times to turn the light on and walk the house. I check the doors to make sure they are locked. I look out to see if my car is there and if it's been vandalized. Again. You never know...

Most nights, I lie awake until close to 2 a.m. I "sleep" nearly fully clothed in case I have to jump out of bed and I wear my glasses so I can see. I clutch my phone to my chest and when I awake in the morning, after four or so hours of sleep, it is still in my hand.

One night, I was more tortured in my own head than by my stalker. I had to have someone sit beside me until I fell asleep. I slept for twelve hours that night.

I hate the night.